I believe in spending time alone, whether it’s in the car, in a store, taking a walk, or just sitting around reading a book. I haven’t always felt this way. For me, it’s a sign of growing up, something I was all too eager to do until it actually came time to do it.
When I was younger, I felt completely incapable of doing anything on my own. When my family would decide to order pizza from home, my mom would urge me to make the call myself and place the order. I was terrified of calling a number and having to talk to a stranger on the other end of the phone. It’s hard to think back on that time in my life and remember exactly why I felt that way, but I think it had something to do with my childish optimism that if I ever did need one of my parents they would always be there to help.
As I got older and had to take on more responsibility, I slowly tried to let go of some of my quirks about being on my own. In high school it was easy to avoid being alone; I carpooled with other students to school, had classes all day, practice after school, and on the weekends would go to the movies or to a friend’s house. When it came time to go to college, I picked the University of Wisconsin in Madison, more than 800 miles away from home. I can remember the exact moment when I realized that I was truly on my own for the first time in my life: I was standing on a street corner outside my freshman dorm watching my parents pull away in their rental car after a long day of helping me move in. In that moment I felt a sense of panic so severe that I almost began bawling right then and there. I thought I had been prepared for the independence that goes hand in hand with college. Apparently I wasn’t quite as grown up as I’d thought.
Since that day, I’ve come to realize that being by myself is not such a bad thing after all. In fact, some days I prefer to get away from people just so that I have time to think. Spending some time alone means I don’t have to make compromises. I get to be in charge, which has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I don’t have to put up with any BS, and I can enjoy a silence that never gets awkward. It also means that I have had plenty of time to get to know myself, a task that I’ll probably be working on for the rest of my life.
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5 comments:
Your essay really got to me, especially because I'm the kind of person who loves to spend my time alone. I feel that it's really important to be by yourself for a while, to get away from influences and from stress, and to get to know yourself. I thought you make a good point and that your essay reflects it.
Spending time alone is an excellent time to become familiar with your self. Sitting in a place alone does show a lot of maturity letting yourself know that you don't need people to become one with yourself.
I loved this essay. I'm a pretty social person, but I'm most creative and thoughtful when I slow down and just spend time alone. I have a roommate who can't go for a five minute car ride without music. Is this where we're heading?
I agree that everyone needs time alone in their life to stay sane. On the contrary, I also think that friends are such an amazing thing to have. Independence is such a hard thing for many people to grasp and fully take control of because it is actually very hard to be on your own. Many of us consider ourselves on our own but still receive money from our parents and hold no job. We in that sense are not alone, just away.
I find that time alone allows me to focus and makes time spent with others even that much more important. It's always good to balance things.
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